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Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Sometimes I'd Pay THEM to Let Me Be A Dad.


Actual conversation between Ciera and I about 10 minutes ago.

Me: "Ciera, you have GOT to throw those shoes away. They stink."

Ciera: "Dad, if you buy me new grey Toms I'll throw them away."

Me: "Better yet, let's mail them to "He who shall not be named", tell him to go to a ventless room, and then open them. We accomplish two things: We get rid of the shoes and we kill him in the process".

Ciera: "Daaad"! "You're such a creeper"!

Me: "I'm dead serious".

Ciera: "Stop! You're giving me a hemorrhoid"!

Me: "Huh"?

Ciera: "You know, what you get when old people like you get stressed".

Me: ::Rolling on the floor:: "You mean an ulcer"?

Ciera: "Yeah. What's a hemorrhoid?"

Sweet Holy Moses do I wish I could wear a video camera strapped to my head at all times.

5 comments:

Sonya@Beyond the Screen Door said...

To mimic your nieces...
Bahahahaha!!!!!
Loved this!!

Rich in the Garage said...

"Its a pain in the ass...like a teenage daughter."


You're welcome.

Ted D said...

Glad ya'll liked it, Sonj. I'm sure there were a lot of these moments in your house over the years.

And Jr, she's not that bad.

Yet.

Karen said...

I've always wondered why they call them hemorrhoids and not asteroids.

Ted D said...

Heh.