*picture from the Boston Globe*
Answer: He covers his body in baby oil and Bengay, then drinks 1 cup of coffee and takes 2 aspirin.
The question? What does Julian Tavarez do to get his body warm when he pitches in cold weather.
My man is nuttier than a grove of chestnut trees: are you kidding me? Baby oil and Bengay? Why only 1 cup of coffee? Doesn't aspirin thin the blood, therefore making you COLDER, rather than warmer?
Pointing at the bases, diving at guys during stops in play, and puncher of dugout phones and Joey Gathright. Every time you turn around, he's doing something that either makes you scratch your head or laugh out loud. Giving someone a back rub, or a shoulder rub, or in one strange instance, standing on Craig Hansen's back while he's lying down. Go over to sittingstill.net for proof: he is certifiable.
Which is exactly why it is so much fun to watch him pitch: you never know what he's gonna do next. During Spring Training, NESN camera's caught this on camera: Julian standing right in the middle of Matsuzaka and Okajima in the dugout with his arms around them, talking 90 miles a minute and laughing his head off. The 2 of them kept nodding and smiling, all the while probably thinking "This was not how I expected to die".
In years past, especially the 2004 Band of Idiots, he'd have fit right in: now, on a team of consummate professionals, he and Manny seem to be in a contest on who can be the biggest goofball. Maybe that's why I like him so much: every team needs that crazy guy the other team always looks for in a scrum. Julian's the type to go after the pitcher while carrying a bat, hoping to make a human Popsicle out of him.
I can picture him right now, screaming out to no one in particular, in his best Kurt Russell imitation:
"You tell the Rangers I'm coming. You hear me? You tell 'em I'm coming, and Hell's coming with me!"
8:00 p.m. tomorrow can't come fast enough.
A New Thing for a New Year
2 weeks ago