Thursday, February 7, 2008

Some Days It Doesn't Pay To Get Out Of Bed

I feel like that Woody doll lying on the bar; I'd like nothing more than to just curl up in the fetal position and pretend I was somewhere else.

Most days, God smiles down on Ang and I and only allows one of the the Unholy Trinity to cause us to melt down. Every now and then though, it's a rare triple feature and all three cause me to imagine I'm moving to Greenland. Alone.

Trot has a little cold, so the day started with him coming out of his room at 4:50 a.m. and jabbering on about something at the top of the stairs. Ang, half asleep herself, puts him in between us where he spends the next hour and 40 minutes doing the following; snoring, coughing, and kicking me in the marbles. All within seconds of the other, sometimes all three at once.

As I get out of the shower, there is Rakes, sitting on the bathroom floor; as he wipes sleep out of his eyes at the unGodly hour of 6:55, he looks up and utters "I wanna play Tar Wars, Dad." So it was that I left to take Ciera to school with Rakes merrily annihalating Storm Troopers, Trot mauling a Pop Tart, and Ang on the verge of a panic attack. At 7:45 in the morning.

When we get to school, I come around the car and see Ciera's water mug laying on it's side, with half of my sales pictures soaking wet; she swears she had her hand on it the whole time, and no amount of reasoning from me that IF she had her hand on it there is NO way it would have dumped water all over my backseat changes her story in any way.

About noon, I get a call from Angie; see, today was Rakes' first ever visit to the dentist. Last night, he seemed excited. So Angies nerves were calm and all was well. Until they went inside.

Apparently he screamed for 30 minutes. In between screaming, he cried; loudly. I failed to mention we don't have dental insurance, so this cleaning was done at the local Denistry college, where they only charge $5 for a cleaning with about 20 other patients in the same room. I'm guessing all those other people getting work done asked the staff before leaving to NOT schedule their next appointment when the midget with the built in megaphone was due back. I've also got a sinking feeling that price just went up after today; I just hope the poor dental student who cleaned the muppet with teeth today doesn't decide on a career in botany after meeting Rakes.

Not to be outdone, this afternoon Ang found Trot sitting in the living room floor, a box of baby wipes at his feet, cheerfully sticking his hand down his pants and wiping his bottom. Did I mention he'd gone, well, number 2? After using a wipe, he thoughtfully put it back in the box and grabbed a new one. Thankfully I wasn't home for the cleaning of the floor, the pantry door, Trot, and the ottoman. 'Cause if I had been, I'd currently be screaming hysterically and running down the highway in the general direction of Boston, MA.

Right now, my trip to Boston is the only thing keeping me from wandering the streets telling anyone who'll listen that I like turtles and my greatest hope is to live in a van down by the river.

Is it April yet?


Tex said...

sounds like another day at the zoo.

alittle better...coughing alot...i have GOT to find me a new dr

Ted D said...

Tex, you need an antibiotic.

Or a lung transplant.

It could really go either way.

And another day at the zoo it was; cleaning the cage day, apparently.

Tex said...

i have to drive to rockdale, my other facility, to pick up my check..i think they have a small clinic. I need to get a Zpak.

Ted D said...

Good luck, Tex.

Hopefully they can give you something so you'll feel better soon.

Tex said...

or i could just drink a hot toddie and cough the rest of this phlegm up ;)

Ted D said...

I'm not sure if the medical community supports this type of treatment, but if you think it'll work Tex, go for it. ;)

JMP said...

Hey Ted,
Well after reading that posting one thing came to mine....

Bluto: [thrusting six-pack into Flounder's hands] My advice to you is to start drinking heavily.
Otter: Better listen to him, Flounder, he's in pre-med.

Yes..nothing like some words of wisdom from Animal House!!!

Hang in there bub...they will grow up!!!
Angie MUST be a saint!!!
Kyle use to scream at the Dentist too...and when he got his hair I know what you are going through!!!

Ted D said...

Animal House logic sounds pretty good to me, JMP.

Ang is indeed a saint; I don't deserve her.

And I wouldn't take anything in the world for the experience. But I'll consider an offer every now and then.

Wayne's World said...

Very few blogs bring me to tears from laughter or otherwise...This was had that affect! Man, I haven't laughed like that in quite some time. IN the mean time, I'll ship you one flavor of the 11 beer varieties that I bought at Jungle Jim's today. It seems like you need it!

Stacy said...

OK. This may top any previous day of rioting and mayhem at your house. Ever.

It HAS to be better today. :)

Just hang on. April will be here before you know it.

Ted D said...

Wayne, I may need more than that; do you have anything stronger? Like the stuff they knock an elephant out with? 'Cause I think that may be closer to what I need.

Sis, it was quite the day. How Ang still has hair on her head I'll never know. But yeah, April will be here before I know it.

If I keep telling myself that, I may believe it.

Tree Newt said...

I'm surprised you didn't tell Ciera what you always told me when your 120 oz. mug of Mountain Dew spilt:

"If you weren't riding with me, that wouldn't have happened."

You didn't tell her that, right?

Redbeard76 said...

Aww, cute picture at the top of the blog, but I take it they were anything but cute yesterday morning? Well the weekend's here just about, thank gods.

But Greenland? I don't think they get Red Sox games there, no matter how much global warming they get.

So when you wanna get started on our kick @$$ bachelor pad?

Beth said...

Hey, Ted, it was good training for the dental student! Baptism by fire! :)

Tex said...

going to the dr in about 30 min. i hope they have good drugs

Wayne's World said...

Actually, believe it or not the main feed for Baseball that they do get up in Greenland, is Boston Red Sox baseball. I had a friend stationed there at one point, and Thule they can pick up Sox ball. That would be the ONE thing enjoyable about the place I suppose...but the question is, what would you do in the winter (that wouldn't require 9 layers of clothing?). Random...

Ted D said...

Stephen, it may be crazy, but I being single again? No way; you're on your own with the bachelor pad.

Beth, I can't tell you how bad I felt for that girl! Ang said she was very patient, which is good.

Tex, you don't have malaria, do you? ;)

Wayne, that may have sealed the deal; who knew you could get Sox games in Greenland? Which was a random choice, btw. Influenced by The Princess Bride, I'm guessing:

Vizzini: And you: friendless, brainless, helpless, hopeless! Do you want me to send you back to where you were? Unemployed in Greenland!

Wayne's World said...

Hey Ted. After you posed the question, I went digging even more (Translation...I subscribed to even more articles on Reader). Most of the articles rehashed that Schill's doc doesn't by the plan they have in mind, and he doesn't have faith that their plan will allow him to ever...pitch again. Pretty daunting, to say the least...

Ted D said...

Well, that pretty much sucks Wayne. IF he has the surgery he won't pitch again, or even with rest he won't pitch again?

I've gotta think Theo will pick up somebody. Please God, don't let it be Jeff Weaver.

scott h said...

AS your own personal Devils Advocate. I was thinking, correct me if I am wrong.
You are going to Boston for 5 days by your self because you need a break from your own self trained rugrats. Angie is doing a random act of kindness and running the circus in your absents.

And again correct me if I am wrong, her reward is a trip to Baltimore to see a ball game which I am sure ranks right up their with her annual Gynecologist visit.

Just a thought, maybe you should reconsider her reward. Just a thought.

Wayne's World said...

If he has the surgery, Im thinking age and all, he'll be back for MAYBE...the postseason. If he opts to not have the surgery, he'll probably never play again as well (unless he breaks his promise to retire after this season). It's Curt though man...If anyone can warrior through this decision, it's him. That said, he's now 3 years older then 04. I dunno man...

Ted D said...

Bub, what's wrong with her reward?

And it's absence, not absents. Just sayin'.

Wayne, you aren't exactly making my day, man. If anyone can do it, he can. But this isn't sounding good.

Krystle THE Red Sox Oasis said...

oh that is TOO much. Poor Trot, hope the kid gets better, just not at 4:50AM.

As for Rakes with the dentist, God bless Angie and the doctor. She's learning well. Your kids may be example for college students on patience who may work with children in their lives.

And, you married a Saint, you really did.

Ted D said...

Krystle, I agree 100%.

On all your points.

~**Dawn**~ said...

Oh but they are soooo cute. =)

Ted D said...

Thanks, Dawn.

They take after their Mum. ;)