Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Tito's Gonna Need Ear Plugs

While I love the signing of Sean Casey, aka The Mayor, to be the back up First Baseman and left handed bat off the bench, I think Theo neglected to consider one critical point.

Casey NEVER stops talking; how else do you think he got a nickname like The Mayor? Put him on the same bench as Papi, you've got issues. Throw in a 2nd baseman who stands all of 5ft 6, yet acts like he's 6 ft 5, Manny and Tavarez doing a 2008 version of Lucy and Ethel in the background, and a closer who gives himself nicknames and has a motor like the Energizer Bunny? And we wonder why Francona has such a hard time kicking his chewing tobacco habit.

With all that going on behind him during a game, while he's trying to figure out when to lift the starter, who to bring in to pitch, and when to pinch hit, it's a small miracle he's not mainlining meth off the brim of bench coach Brad Mills' hat. No wonder the guy rocks back and forth like some mental patient on work leave.

Speaking of Manny, guess who showed up to camp on time today? Driving a white Cadilac Escalade, he pulled up, dropped off some gear, and was gone within 30 minutes.

Of course he did. He's Manny.

Meanwhile on the home front, completely out of the blue tonight Rakes asked if we were going to the zoo tomorrow.

All I can figure is he's feeling the call toward home.


Tree Newt said...

It's the lunar eclipse, bro. It's does strange things to a boy.

I can't believe Manny showed up on time.

That probably has something to do with the eclipse, too.

Ted D said...

Manny is playing for that $20 million dollar club option, bro.

And Rakes is Rakes; he's just missing the monkey cage.

Did you hear? Spring Training is here. ;)

Tree Newt said...

Yes, I think I heard somewhere.

How you feeling, bro?

Ted D said...

Dragging, man. Dragging.

But I'll be back out in force tomorrow.

Tex said...

I told everyone that Manny would be on time this year. I just knew he would. Manny has style. Rakes was probably deep in thought about the zoo visit...wanting someone to play with.

scott h said...

What are you dragging? Bag full of IRS money.

Hope you don't mind me using your name when I write the IRS, With what I paid there must be a mix up I'm going to use you as a example.

Ted D said...

You said it, Tex. I've gotta give it up to you.

And you're probably right about Rakes. He has been acting more peculiar than usual lately.

Ted D said...

Bub, don't drag me down with the rest of you tax cheats. I paid my dues.

My gas tax alone should win me and Mattie an exemption. This state is SCREWING us.

Tex said...

and about Sean. I can just imagine Youk is at bat...Sean and Tiz are on the bench yukking it up...making noise....Youk turns around and yells 'Would YOU TWO PIPE DOWN?! Im trying to concentrate'

Ted D said...


Casey is going to be great on this team.

I love the fact you can't find one bad quote about him from ANYBODY.

Tex said...

i am SO bummed about not being able to go to ST this year. They are going to have the WS trophy at the park the weekend I was supposed to have gone :(

I am just bummed

Ted D said...

Sorry, Tex. I know that must suck.

Although, you do get to be a part of Tedapalooza in Boston.

Which is no small second prize. ;)

Tree Newt said...

"My gas tax and Mattie's alone should win us an exemption."

Preach, brother, preach!

Tex said...

yes May is going to be great. I just have gotten spoiled the last few years with my trip to spring training. I went after our 2004 WS and woulda been nice to be there for this one. being an adult sucks sometimes too

Ted D said...

I'm not a preacher, Matt. Just one small man trying to make a difference. If I could find our esteemed Govenor, I'd be applying the figure 4 leglock as we speak.

Tex, I have to agree. Being an adult, does in fact, suck. Maybe I should just adopt Rakes' take on life; the little hellion LOOKS happy.

~**Dawn**~ said...

Oh I hope they mic the dugout. Remember the Royce Clayton & Coco Crisp discussions on the free taco?! I can only imagine what kinds of conversations will be going on in there. I would pay an extra subsrciption service for access to that!

Redbeard76 said...

Rakes going to the imaginary zoo?

Like Michael J Fox's character in Back to the Future to baby Jailbird Joey: "Hey kid, get used to these bars".

Press: Leave Manny alone.

Ted D said...

"Everybody got a free taco?!

I didn't get one; where's MY free taco?!!"

Dawn, somebody brought this up on SG the other day; why instead of stuff like Dating shows doesn't NESN mic the dugout, show all the stuff like ping pong games, etc..?

It'd get more viewers for sure.

Stephen, I hadn't thought about it that way, but you may be on to something there.

scott h said...

If they miked the dugout you would hear real stuff like, I wish that lady in row 10 seat b with the Texas tats would stop looking at my butt and the cat next to her that looks like Earnest T needs to go back to Mayberry and get a new hobby. But that would be offensive.

Ted D said...

Bite me, old man.

Turning 50 has really made you a bitter, miserable person hasn't it?

Oh well, I hear it's "Learn How To Crochet A Hat" night down at the Rest Home.

I wear a 7 3/4, btw.

beckperson said...

That last line just cracked me up! I cannot wait to meet Mr. Rakes one day (hopefully before he turns normal).


Ted D said...

Hey Becks.

You and Mr. Becks are welcome anytime, just say the word.

And don't worry; I'm pretty sure he won't be "normal" anytime soon. ;)

scott h said...

Hey you are right. That was great fun. I snatched some med's off the tray of a guy who just sit in the corner and talked to the tv. I will send them to you ASAP.

PS. I asked about the crochet thing, they don't make them that small.

Ted D said...

I'll be waiting, Bub.

And those old coots must not know how to make a good hat.