After dealing with Rakes decorating the walls and carpet with lipstick, urinating on the garage floor, and dropping trou to chase his sister around the house while giggling like a maniac I held out hope that Trot was going to be our "easy child".
Hope promptly gave me a round house kick to the marbles, kissed my wife, and took my wallet as he left.
God help me, I think he may be worse than Rakes ever was. And it's not even going to be close.
In addition to whizzing in a vase in his room, using the door mat in front of the laundry room as his personal fertilizing field and wanting to run in place in the toilet, the last few days have brought home the realization that we may be raising TWO future stars of video's on YouTube entitled "Hey! Watch This!"
After taking Ciera to school yesterday, I ran back home to get my lunch and get on the computer for a few minutes. Ang is in bed with a migraine, Rakes is in the toy room destroying the Death Star on the PS2, and Trot is somewhere upstairs yelling "Rakes! Come FIND me!"
Instead of Rakes, it was me who in fact found him. In the linen closet. With ALL the sheets strewn about on the floor, there he was, lying on the bottom shelf with his legs crossed, hands on his chest with a look of absolute giddiness on his face. Have you ever tried to read a child the riot act while trying to stifle a fit of the giggles? Trust me, it isn't as easy as it sounds.
Later that day, Ang, who had turned her back to answer the phone, discovers the laundry room door open and the dryer door laying sideways. It was at this point she saw Trot with the toilet brush and the toilet bowl cleaner merrily cleaning away.
In the middle of the living room floor.
I have no idea if that spot will ever come out; Ang tried for 3 hours and accomplished absolutely nothing. My only hope is the homeowners insurance somehow covers accidents created by children determined to become the next Dennis the Menace.
My doc told me not long ago that in order to relieve my high blood pressure I needed to reduce the stress in my life.
He's a DOCTOR for Pete's sake; he realizes that once they come out you can't get them back in, right?
All or Nothing at All
1 week ago