Friday Night Ramblings

I'm beyond thrilled The Captain agreed to come back to Boston for at least one year and more than likely two. I'm sure Scott Boras dragged this whole thing out with phantom "other offers" and promises to Tek that he'd rule the world like Dr. Evil by the time all was said and done, but I'm glad we've got a 150 pound nerd running the team who stood his ground. That said, part of me imagines Boras trying to negotiate a cut of the gross Polish sausage sales sold at Fenway each night as part of Varitek's contract.

Is it wrong of me to wish he would fall into a crocodile tank at the nearest zoo in the near future?

Why do I, after having been double charged on my debit card at the Taco Bell window for the exorbitant of $10.31 cents, have to fax a copy of MY bank statement to TB corporate AND fill out a dispute form at my bank? When it was THEIR employee who can't operate a credit card machine (you swipe, key in the amount, and hit enter. I'm fairly sure Rakes could do this while at the same time playing Star Wars Lego's and eating a fudgecicle.) It's the equivalent of 2 #4 combos on the value meal board; besides, you are freaking TACO BELL! It's moments like this I'm glad I'm 5 foot nothing and weigh what the average 5th grader does.

Can someone, ANYONE, explain to me why it takes a car over 5 full seconds to decide to accelerate through an intersection? You drive a car, not a cart pulled by a donkey; press your right foot down and MOVE people.

If you don't have enough money for a down payment, aren't moving until after July 4th, or don't know how much room you have in your house for furniture, can I ask the following question?

Why in God's name are you taking up 2 hours of my time while I try to sell you furniture? I have a wife, 3 kids, a mortgage, and a MLB Package bill coming due in a few months. Seriously; I gotta eat. And if you think wasting my time while you window shop is getting me any closer to buying the Nutra Grain Bars Trot wants to eat for breakfast each morning you have lost your mind.

After watching "Wife Swap" tonight, two things sprang to mind. Number 1 is why in the name of all that is pure am I watching this drivel? And 2; there are several kids spread out across the Nation who are going to need serious professional help before they reach legal voting age.

Finally, if Ang and I ever got the chance to participate in this show, I am sure of two things. One, Ang would totally win over the family she would go to. And two?

It's a complete toss up whether me or the Axis of Evil would cause the other person to completely lose it on national tv.

I think I'll go and put our application in now. 'Cause either way?

It's a win/win.