Thursday, October 1, 2009

I See the Future. Sort of.

Ang and the kids are all asleep, it's the witching hour of 9:17 p.m. and I'm watching a baseball game that means absolutely nothing like it's Game 7 of the World Series, so I figured I might as well make my picks for the upcoming MLB playoffs.

Mind you, these are all based on nothing resembling facts, statistics, or common sense but just my gut instincts and all the baseball knowledge I've soaked in over the past 39 years. I should also mention I once thought Gorman Thomas and Greg Luginski were the next "Big Things" so don't bet the mortgage payment anytime soon.

NLDS: Cardinals vs Rockies.

Mind you, this is all based on the Dodgers not gacking up the weekend series against the Rockies but Kanye West is a gazillionaire so weirder things have happened. That said, it's hard to bet against Pujols and Larussa, plus they've got Smoltz and Lugo looking like world beaters so I'm going with the Cardinals in 4. Also, that whole "Rocktober" thing is quite lame.

NLDS: Dodgers vs the Phillies.

Rollins, Howard, Hamels, Manuel, Utley, etc.. vs Manny. Phillies in 5, although part of me is hoping for a Sox/Dodgers World Series and the glass around the press box at Fenway breaks due to the decibel level coming from the Fenway Faithful as they boo Manny out of the park.

ALDS: Yankees/Twins or Tigers.

My heart says Tigers, my head says Yankees. Or maybe that's my stomach revolting against another ulcer if the Sox and Yankees meet again in the playoffs.

ALDS: Sox/Angels.

It's called "Red Sox Dad".

'Nuff said.

NLCS: Cardinals/Phillies.

Phillies. 'Cause when you can rake like that, even Albert Pujols isn't enough.

ALCS: Sox/Tigers.

I can't pick the Yankees. It's just not in me. Although that little voice inside my head is telling me to rent a set of heart paddles, buy a bunch of paper bags to breathe in, and to count on three hours of sleep per night as I sit through a 7 game nut buster of a series with New York.

I hate that little voice.

World Series: Sox/Phillies.

7 games.

4,387 Budweiser commercials.

9,789 times I want to drop kick Buck and McCarver in the gibleys.

47 near heart attacks.

3 Papi home runs and the series winning blast from pinch hitter Jason Varitek.

Sox win their 3 World Series in 6 years.

I'm calling my shot.


Tree Newt said...

Classic. I hope you're right, for your sake, anyway!

Ted D said...

Me too, Matty. Me too.

Rich in the garage said...

and the series winning blast from pinch hitter Jason Varitek.//

Fell out of my chair laughing at that one.

If Tek so much as leaves the bench to take a piss in the playoffs Im going to be worried.

Ted D said...

Mark my words, Jr. Mark my words.