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Monday, October 12, 2009

Just another thing they neglect to mention in all those "What to expect when you're expecting" books.


When I first opened Rakes closet doors my first thought was "He's finally done it. He's killed something." After I ran yelling from his room and Ange, doing her best "CSI: DALTON HOUSE" impression took over, it was determined it was urine, and not a dead animal stinkifying the closet.

Once the rubber hoses, bright lights, and threats of military school were used to their full effect, turns out Rakes, miffed he had to go to timeout LAST THURSDAY, decided to treat the place where we keep all his clothes as his own personal lavatory.

If you've never smelled 4 day old pee you won't understand any of this; if you have? You're currently asking yourself how I kept from killing him.

Trying to figure out why he did this ranks up there with the following 3 great unanswered questions.

1. Why do they call it a driveway where you park you car and a parkway where you actually drive?

2. Who exactly is the person(s) who decided Joe Morgan, Chip Carey, and Tim McCarver were who the rabid baseball fan wanted to listen to during the playoffs where they HAVE NO CHOICE?

3. Why is Ryan Seacrest on EVERY FREAKING CHANNEL on tv all of a sudden?

At least Trot peed in a vase where you could see it, or just opened the door to the van and went in the garage. I thought they wouldn't ever go where they slept? Rakes just blew 100 years of animal behavioral theory right out the window and into the next county.

I still say there is a sitcom waiting to happen going on here.

I just don't know where to start.

10 comments:

Tree Newt said...

Heeeheeeheeeheee....

Ted D said...

Yuck it up, little brother. Remember, you have TWO girls. Good luck in about 10 years.

Tree Newt said...

Oh, I have no doubt I'll be totally gray or bald, have a constant twitch in my left eye, and be practicing my marksmanship by then bro. No illusions here!

But it's still funny!

Ted D said...

Why am I imagining Joe Pesci and Spider in "Goodfellas" right now?

Matty said...

It's a locktight cinch that this will be funny when he has his own kids, and grandpa is telling this story.

Ted D said...

Matty, I agree. But what are the odds his Grandpa makes it?

Congrats to you and the Phillies, btw.

~**Dawn**~ said...

I... I...

I don't know what to say.

Ted D said...

Pretty much nothing to say, Dawn. I'm thinking about getting therapy.

Stacy said...

Even I'm surprised at this one. The closet? The bathroom is like 10steps away from his room.

You have my pity. :)

Ted D said...

Exactly my point, Stacy. It's RIGHT THERE.

::sigh::