Thursday, October 15, 2009

Think I'll Let Them Do The Thinking For Me

My normal workday usually consists of the following things.

1. Me shucking and jiving and trying to convince someone they absolutely, positively NEED a new sofa, bedroom suite, mattress set, or kitchen table. Shoot, I'm not proud; I'll sell a $59 dollar bed frame on credit if I have to.

2. Trying, and usually failing, to complete the USA Today crossword without having to get on the Internet for help. Seriously, I'm supposed to know who the King of England in 1359 was?

3. Worrying about Ciera at Middle School, Rakes terrorizing his kindergarten class, and Trot slipping unknown out of the neighbors house where she's keeping him to "explore" the run off pond at the end of the street.

4. Thinking of various ways to torture Chip Carey. Today I came up with making him listen to calls of his own broadcasts while tied to an ant hill lathered in butter while I yell "FISTED!" into his ears with a megaphone for assistance.

5. Wondering what Theo and Tito have up their sleeve. This past year brought us Rocco Baldelli, John Smoltz, Brad Penny, and mercifully, Victor Martinez. They are the manager and GM of a team with the most insane, illogical fan base in all of sports, have somehow managed to win 2 World Titles in the last 7 years, made the playoffs 6 out of those 7, and STILL people get on the phone, computer, and most likely Western Union to express the desire they both be fired and run out of town.

I had a lot of lucid, well thought out opinions on all this while I was at work, but as per usual, as soon as I arrived home to the sights and sounds of my children destroying tonight's Chinese take out and after baths, books, 4 times getting out of bed, and Ciera freaking out about her math homework those somewhat intelligent thoughts have gone the way of the record player, 8 track, and leisure suits.

All I'm left with is this.

In Tito and Theo I Trust.

Is it really just day 4 of the off season?


Chrissy said...

It's gonna be a really L-O-N-G offseason for you, isn't it? Poor thing...

Rich in the garage said...

Did you notice the once time someone actually did fist a ball with an ugly swing he didn't call it?

Redbeard76 said...

Good thing you're not the dad of those 2 joker kids who got on national news for making believe that the boy went up with the balloon! Could you imagine that guy's heart attack?

Have a good weekend Ted! I hope you sell lots today!

Cyn said...

I watched most of the Phillies/Dodgers game last night and I was okay. I was fine that the Sox weren't in it (well it was the NLCS, but still...). But I didn't have the same passion that I do watching non-Sox games in the regular season.

Although I was happy as a pig in dirt when the Phillies won. :)

Ted D said...

Chrissy, yes it is. :(

Jr, I DID catch that. He doesn't even know when to call it.

Thanks, Redbeard. And I would have killed that kid.

Cyn, you slay me!

Sam Jackson's Lovechild said...

ted: i have an idea to bring in more readers to your blog. first, we get a 20 foot high inflatable wally the green monster. next, hide rakes in the root cellar.


and in theo i trust. except for shortstop

Ted D said...

I like it, Josh! No root cellar, but I do have an attic.

Rich in the garage said...

Re sign nomar imo.

(as long as he gets back on le juice)

Rich in the garage said...

And leisure suits will never be out of style.


Sam Jackson's Lovechild said...

what respectable north carolinian doesnt have a root cellar?

i am so building you a root cellar. have rakes and trot start digging a hole in the backyard

~**Dawn**~ said...

You forgot to add Alex & Billy Wags to that "mercifully" list. ;-)

Ted D said...

You are le weird, Jr.

Josh, I'm sure my neighbors will be thrilled you, Trot, and Rakes will be digging up the yard. ;)

Dawn, thanks for helping with the list. It was late last night. ;)

Rich in the garage said...

exhaust fumes sir.

...and thats all i have to say about that


Ted D said...