When I write a book this is Chapter One

Per my usual Thursday morning routine I went and ate with Rakes and Trot before work. Or rather I went and sat with them while they ate; 10:30 in the morning is a little too early in the day for me to think about eating. Anyways, everything was going fine until about 5 minutes before Rakes was done and I looked up and saw Trot walking down the hall with his very nice teacher looking like he had lost his best friend.

In my mind I know something is wrong; first off his teacher never brings him down while Rakes is eating and secondly Trot looks like he's walking the Green Mile to his execution and he's crying. This is a child who wouldn't cry if he was missing a limb so I'm fairly certain this is some behavior related issue. What ensued was a new one, even for me.

Nice Teacher Lady: "Trot wanted me to call his Mom instead of you but when we went to the office they said you were here already."

Me: "What happened now?"

Nice Teacher Lady: "Well, we were lining up to go into the hall and Trot, well, he licked the boy in front of him on the head".

Me: ....

Nice Teacher Lady: "I didn't see it but another child told me. He just leaned up and licked him".

Me: "Like a cat"?

Nice Teacher Lady: "Apparently".

Me: ....

There aren't many times I'm speechless but this was one of  them. After sputtering on about personal space and hygiene and how we don't LICK people for God's sake they went on their merry way and I was left once again shaking my head in disbelief. When I asked him why he did it I got the standard "I don't KNOW!" amid all the tears and I STILL don't think he knows why he did it. He just thought that licking some kid on the head was a good idea I guess.

I've got three kids and I've read that stupid book a thousand times but that freaking Dr. Spock never ONCE  mentioned licking some kids head.

Dink.