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Sunday, December 16, 2007

It's a New Day

I can't decide if he looks like Edward Furlong in "American History X", Private Pyle from "Full Metal Jacket", or that kid from "Sling Blade". Should you ever get the wild hair to go buy yourself a hair trimmer to give your 4 year old a hair cut, a word to the wise: DON'T.

If you spend any amount of time reading this car wreck filled with incorrect pronunciation and grammar, you know that I'm either doing one of two things: pontificating about the Red Sox or talking about my deranged family.

Yesterday was one of those days where I went to bed at night thinking I'm a horrible Dad and convinced my kids would be better off being raised by Angie and a hamster: every time I turned around there was yelling, crying, screaming, and throwing something at someone. And that was just me.

Due to the fact it was pouring down rain all day and about 40 degrees outside, we spent all of Saturday indoors. Having to spank Trot on the hand for trying to bite through the PlayStation cord and then pulling it off the cabinet, then listening to him scream for, I kid you not, 47 minutes that "Dad pop" while he smacked his hand was just the start.

Until nap time, the rest of the day consisted of Trot and Rakes on what appeared to be a concerted mission to do everything in their power to see how many different shades of red my face could turn: if I wrote it all down, it'd make the Mitchell Report seem small.

At 5, I had to go pick Ciera up from play practice in the rain and somehow in the entire 20 minute drive home she picks me backing into the garage as the perfect time to let me know she has the Youth Pastors keys: I didn't ask why she had the keys because I was scared the top my head would pop off.

Giving Rakes his haircut while he screams "Dis it taking FOREBER" in between crying fits, it hit me about 5 minutes in: This was NOT going to be good. I don't think Angie even got that slow pit in her stomach like I did: she pretty much just started to cry.

We ended the day with Curly and me playing Star Wars Legos on the PS2, fighting the bad guys while my 4 year old mental patient berated me with "You not mobing fast enough, Dad" for an hour and a half.

After feeling sorry for myself the rest of the night, I woke up this morning and came to some realizations:

I'm not a bad Dad, I just had a bad day, and all the things my kids do that make me want to run away and join the French Foreign Legion don't make me lose my patience: They TEACH me patience.

Finally, I learned this: trying to cut corners and save money with 3 kids and a stay-at-home Mom anywhere you can is a good and noble idea.



You just don't do it with hair cuts.

40 comments:

Tex said...

"pontificating" do you EVEN know what this means?

and next time go to SuperCuts, they are cheaper...and you can get a discount too

http://www.supercuts.com/reminder.cfm?s=8522&u=false&zip=78704

Tell Rakes I got his Christmas Art on my fridge next to ya's Christmas pic card :)

Ted D said...

Yes, I know what it means. I looked it up. ;)

Angies cousin cuts it usually: I was being a cheapskate.

He's sitting on my lap right now: I just told him and he said "Tank's Tex!"

Tex said...

tell him he'll get a TEXAS SIZE HUG from me soon

Tree Newt said...

Everybody thinks they have skilz like me. Dude, all I could think of was the time dad took me to that Nazi of a barber in Bethany, and mom didn't talk to him for a week.

But dad wasn't in control of the clippers.

Do I need to ask Rusty if you can stay in his house for the evening?

Ted D said...

I just told him and he said "I not know her, Daddy." I told him you're crazy, just like he is. :)

We're watching motorcycle crashes on YouTube! Leaving in a few to go to the Christmas musical at church.

Tex said...

i hate joe buck. im watching Game 4 ALCS 2004.
hey Ted read Rakes the Texas Christmas when all thru the night

Ted D said...

Sorry Mattie: missed you there. I'd forgotten about that: Mom was TICKED!!! She was right there with me in trying to save the money: the idea was a good one. It's just the execution stunk.

Tex, we're heading out now: I promise I'll read it to him when we get home.

Stacy said...

Ted, Rakes looks perfectly happy with his new cut, and you are a good dad. Trot needed to know he can't bite the Playstation cords, and you probably needed a valium after 47 minutes of him crying. :)

To keep your wife happy, however, I would find another area to cut expenses. Say, maybe, the MLB package. :)

Ted D said...

Now you're just being ridiculous. The phone, yes. No new clothes for me, yes. MLB Xtra innings? NEVER.

JMP said...

Good Lord!!! Never even think about x-naying the MLB Extra Innings package.

Glad to hear you had a great day!!!
Not every day is easy,but the kids are sure worth it!!!!

My kids are 11, 13 and 16. Not a day goes by that I'm not banging my head against the wall at least once because of something they did.. but its worth it..after all we made 'em!!!

Ted D said...

Thanks for backing me up, jmp.

I'm watching the NESN special right now, and it blows the WS DVD away.

11, 13, and 16? I'm guessing you are dealing with your own share of problems. If I survive the toddler years, I'm sure I'll be able to sympathize with you.

Tex said...

ok Stacy...now that's just crazy talk

Edge of Design said...

Next time I visit, I'll bring my scissors and it won't cost you a dime. How's that? I do have clippers if you would prefer that I bring those instead.

Ted D said...

Tex, bless you for backing me up as well. She's obviously lost her mind.

Edge, bring the scissors: I think I'll just shave him bald next time. He was put to bed almost 2 hours ago and has been up 8 times: I'm just about ready to ship him to military school.

scott h said...

Oh MY GOSH. Oh MY GOSH. All I can say is OH MY GOSH.

The only admiral thing you can do is tomorrow evening set down take off your hat and give Rakes the Freakin buzz saw.

OH MY GOSH!

Ted D said...

Bub, you are worse than Susan Waldman: it's not THAT bad. Besides, he's 4: he'll never remember it.

It's not like I put it on the Internet where 2 billion people can see it.

Wait a minute...

Tex said...

just chalk it up to another story you pull out to threaten to show his girlfriend if he don't obey you

Ted D said...

Blackmail...

I like it, Tex.

~**Dawn**~ said...

What *is* it about kids that they manage to gang up on you? Bad days would be easier if you were only dealing with one kid having a bad day at a time. But it's like they orchestrate it. Imagine ten hours a day in a room with eight 1-year-olds all having a bad day...

Ted D said...

//Imagine ten hours a day in a room with eight 1-year-olds all having a bad day...//

I think I may have blacked out...

Hi Dawn, I think it was just one of those days: yesterday was better. And it DOES seem like they plan it! Hope you had a good weekend.

HorshamScouse said...

Ted, did you buy the NESN DVD locally? I'm looking to pick up a copy but I thought it was only on sale in New England.

Ted D said...

Horsham,

I watched it on NESN last night, and it's replaying tonight so I'm TiVoing it. My brother got me "Faith Rewarded" for Christmas in 2004 off amazon.com.

I actually haven't looked there for it yet.

You still coming over the pond and down to see us next week?

JMP said...

Ted,
You get NESN in NC???
Oh ..forgot you have a dish..
Lucky bum!!!!
I miss Charlie Moore Outdoors shows.
Ya think they would stick the old ones on the net for viewing...but noooooooooo

Heck I even remember watching (way before NESN) Gadabout Gadis "The flying fisherman" on like CBS or one of the big networks.
Curt Goudy did some fantastic outdoor shows too!!! Lot of fishing and some hunting.
These shows really got me into fishing when I was a wee lad...

Ted D said...

jmp, yep: DirecTV. I got the sports pack which includes all the FSN channels, YES, and NESN. They black out some stuff like Red Sox rewind and replays of the games, but I get most Sox programming other than the games.

Charlie Moore is a lunatic: that guy takes fishing to a whole new level!

JMP said...

Ted,
Yes he is a piece of work. Thats why I like his show!!!

How were the kiddies tonight??

Tonight at our dinner table , Daughter #1 who is not feeling well was getting tormented by Daughter #2...while they are trying to kill each other, Son #1 (the only Son) is egging them on like no tomorrow...
Needless to say it was a spirited evening with the snapping continuing until the table was cleared and all the beasties returned to their respected rooms...

No it never stops if you are wondering..

Ted D said...

Kids were relatively calm: about the only thing of note was Trot and Rakes running headfirst into each other(Trot won: Rakes bled first) and Trot diving off the couch onto the ottoman. The only problem was I was on the floor with my head on the ottoman and I think I may have a concussion.

//No it never stops if you are wondering..//

NOOOOOOOOOOOO....

Tree Newt said...

Quit whining, Nancy.

JMP said...

HA!!!
It never does stop does it.
You and your sibs are still going at it after what 30 some odd years??

I only have a sister who is 7 years older than me..and I still bust on her as much as I can!!!
Just too much fun to stop!!!

Ted D said...

Matt, you're just jealous you had to go shopping for your wife while I was at home going insane.

Wait a minute...

jmp, it really never does stop, does it?! I don't think we'd know how to act if we WERE'NT insulting each other. Some sort of demented show of affection!

Tex said...

i freaking love beckett. im watching the tivo of Champions Again.

Ted D said...

I figure I'll wait until next week Tex: I have the week off and hopefully few minutes of downtime to watch it again. They devote a pretty good amount of time to Beckett, though.

I thought about you: knew you'd love it!

Tex said...

i still haven't ordered not one thing yet. but this special has me amped. if i ever saw beckett by chance in the off season...i think id just die.

Ted D said...

I renewed my subscription to SI just to get the WS DVD, the book, and the three commemorative baseballs.

I'm gonna keep this on TiVo and pray it never breaks down before I buy the DVD: the NESN one blows the other one away.

You ever see Beckett, you won't die: though it may be the ONLY time you are rendered speechless. ;)

Tex said...

i think there'd be one word I'd say if i saw him....but I think he'd smile when I'd say it.

Ted D said...

OK. One word, THEN you turn into a mute. :)

~**Dawn**~ said...

You guys *have* to check out this Schill video clip. OMG is he my favorite kind of sarcastic funny! Hurry before it gets taken down, like all the good clips do!

Ted D said...

Dawn, that's good stuff. Schilling sound like me at Christmas: "Do we HAVE to have this many trees?"!

She posts at SG under Texas Gal, which caused our friend some serious consternation at first, until she realized Centerfield was a friendly. ;)

HorshamScouse said...

Of course I'm coming but across the Big Pond! I'm virtually packed and ready.

Thanks for your card. Thursday next week still works for me (unless the Great Christmas Ice Storm of 20007 hits of course!)

HorshamScouse said...

*2007
I've got Cyn's thumbs today.

Ted D said...

Glad to hear it, John. We're looking forward to your visit.

Just remember, bring your crash helmet and a cup: you'll need it.