Saturday, May 24, 2008

The Legend of the Limousine

As some of you have heard, there was a Limousine involved in the Tedapalooza festivities last weekend. And not just any Limo; a REALLY long stretch job driven by a guy from Lebanon named Al. Yes, Al.

Now before this story reaches Paul Bunyunesque proportions, I figured I'd set the record straight for posterity's sake. Otherwise, 15 years from now the story could be Tex claimed she was a direct descendant of Sam Houston and DESERVED no less than a Limo to ferry her around Boston. Or Josh and I convinced the guy we were down on our luck circus performers just trying to catch up with "Larry's 3 Ring Traveling Road Show".

So, here is the REAL story of "The Night of the Limousine"...

Saturday morning, Rob, JD, Josh, hayes, Tex, and myself all packed ourselves into JD's Toyota and drove down from Burlington to Boston. Our master plan was to leave their car downtown all night because they could then leave for Vermont after the Sunday game. Other than trying to play a 55 mph version of Twister with 4 people in the backseat and violating about 23 motor vehicle laws, we made it just fine.

What followed was 3 hours at the Cask and a double header at Fenway, which ended around 11:30 p.m. As we trudged off to find a cab, none of us thought about whether a cab would take 6 people 20 minutes away when there were about, oh I'll just guess, a bazillion people who needed to go a lot shorter distances and thus the cabbie could make more money.

Guess what? They wouldn't. Not a stinking, single one. Not even with hayes, Tex, and JD batting their eyes at them, Rob being diplomatic, and Josh and I doing everything but climbing on the hood and declaring we were in it for the long haul. This goes on for about an hour and by this point, speaking for only myself, I was looking for a cardboard box and a heating vent to crash on.
Then, like some kind of pimped out miracle, this boat on wheels parks right in front of us. Now, if you know hayes at all, she's never met a stranger. So naturally she sashays on over, leans down into the drivers window and proceeds to have a lengthy conversation with the driver, who we later found out was Al.

While the ever practical Rob muttered "If it's over $100 dollars I'm not paying for it. This is ridiculous", JD continued to call various cab companies and tell our tale of sorrow, and Josh and I....well, I'm not really sure what we did. We definitely didn't help.

After a bit, hayes pops up, yells "Let's go; it's on me!", we pile into Al's ride and he cheerily drives us back to Burlington. During the drive we all took goofy pictures of each other which prompted Rob to utter the now classic line: "I'm just draining the battery, dude."

So it was we found ourselves after a 20 minute laugh-until-you-think-you're-going-to-wet-yourself ride back at our hotel, safe and sound. Oh, and there may have been a reenactment of the classic Whitesnake video "Here I go again on my Own", people standing up with their heads out the sunroof going down the Interstate, and 3 guys taking gangsta pictures that would make Vanilla Ice look like a charter member of N.W.A.

There you have it: how 6 tired, wore out, frazzled but happy group of friends ended up in a limousine driven by a guy named Al.

P.S. Al said he wanted to use the picture for the company brochure. I was afraid to ask if it was this one or the Whitesnake video.

*Picture courtesy of Tex*


Tex said...

ok. im focusing to write this.
that ride was unbelievable. was it only 20 moin? i thohgt it was more like 30? ok no fiocus.

and to robs attest. he was commening on how his camera was gong dead. "im just dreaing the battery duee"

again no fousus

im promise not ted rinkn when i come to your ahosue. so yoyu know how many times it wtakes me to blog?

Tree Newt said...

Dooood, I can just see you doing the leg to leg shuffle, exhaling very loudly, and beginning to look for a box to sleep on! Ok, maybe not the last part, but I'll bet you were starting to do the "Ted's Aggravated Shuffle Dance!"

And I knew I recognized that pose from the Whitesnake vid!

Ted D said...

Tex, I see you went out for wings to watch Beckett's loss. ;) It was around 20-25 minutes, depending on who was driving. JD and AL? 25. Hayes? 8. :)

Mattie, you know me too well. It was starting to worry me just a bit, but it all worked out.