Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Congratulations. You Made Another Birdie.

I've got a question.

When did the concept of marriage become a running joke and why can't men (not all of us, but a growing majority) just keep it in their pants?

I'm using Tiger because he's just the latest and most famous in an increasingly and disturbing long line of men who somehow decide it's OK to cheat on the woman you vowed to honor for THE REST OF YOUR LIFE and screw up the lives of your kids, who never asked to be here in the first place.

Now I realize I'm fundamentally lacking in the three areas most likely to lead to an affair; 1. I'm not rich. 2. I'm ugly. 3. I have no discernible talent other than the ability to recite lines from movies I saw 10 years ago seemingly at will.

But still. How can you look someone you supposedly love in the eye, swear a lifetime of devotion to that person, decide to bring innocent children into the mix, and then go out and chase anything with a pulse? When did being a man STOP meaning honoring your word and your commitment and evolve into chasing women, apparently as many as humanely possible?

And it's not just famous, rich dudes. I see it every day in my business; guys who own restaurants buying new living room suites for the 19 year old hostess or in the one instance a guy brings his wife in one week for a new bedroom suite and the very next week his girlfriend in for a new mattress.

What in the name of Ward Cleaver happened to "For better or worse" and "till death do us part?" Maybe I'm just some old fashioned romantic or maybe I just think that when you give your word you should, you know, keep it.

All I know is I don't have any idea how Tiger or the guy who came in my store or any other man can do that to his wife, then manage to look into the eyes of his kids and not feel like he's less than 2 feet tall.

When I die, if I'm lucky, the following will be on my tombstone.

"He loved his wife, loved his kids, and did the best he could everyday to prove it. And he may have been a tad bent when it came to the Red Sox."

If it happens, I'll go off to the great beyond a happy man.

Call me crazy but it sounds a lot better to me than "He could hit a golf ball like nobodies business."


Tex said...

Love Wins the game hands down.

I'm like the Marines...I'm looking for a few good men ;)

Rich in the garage said...

1. I'm not rich. 2. I'm ugly. 3. I have no discernible talent other than the ability to recite lines from movies I saw 10 years ago seemingly at will.

1. I am in fact Rich. In the garage sir. 2. Yep. 3. This has gotten me laid more than once. You're watching the wrong movies. And using all of my deductive reasoning if would seem this has worked for you as well.

At least three times.

And if I could amend the tombstone please add "Jr. take of the Rascal.

Tim said...

Here, here!

Ted D said...

Tex, you really are too much. ;)

Jr, you can have the rascal; it's in the will. And thanks, Tim.

Nichole M said...

I was wondering the same thing. Thank you for this post and thank you for being a member of a dying breed. My husband is in good company.

Ted D said...

I don't know about him being in good company, Nichole. ;) But thanks!

Matty said...

Nicely said my friend. You deserve a lot of respect. You have it from me.

Ted D said...

Thanks, Matty.

fla beck said...

Ted,you are the MAN! I heard you!

Ted D said...

Thanks, Becky. Heard you too.