Monday, December 22, 2008

When Medicine just won't do

I've got a few explanations on why my house has turned into the Amyteville Horror over the past 4 months. There is no logical explanation for why at least one of us, over the past several weeks, has been infected with some form of sickness, the latest being my 12 round fight with a batch of bad crab that I came out on the losing end of.

One? We're part of some reality tv show like that movie "The Truman Show" a few years back. I'm secretly hoping this is it, because Rakes will become a major star and I can finally retire.

Two? It's some government conspiracy designed to drive me nuts and take down some 3rd world dictator at the same time. This somehow involves Trot, a rocket launcher, and one of his "special" diapers.

Three? There is a grand alien plan to take us out one by one and they started with my house because my natural defenses are at an all time low.

Four? We've just had a run of bad luck not seen since William H. Macy in "The Cooler" and I need to change my Christmas plans to a trip to Vegas. 'Cause bad luck can't possibly last much longer than this.

So, as I lay half-awake Sunday night and wished I could die, my thoughts turned to May.

To my next trip to Boston, my next Palooza, and all my friends.

And while it didn't make me feel any better, and it didn't make my head stop spinning it did make me smile.

Sort of.

I guess Christmas really does come early sometimes.


Tex said...

hope ya start all feeling better soon.

Ted D said...

Me too, Tex. This is getting to be a bit tired. In a different sense, I hope the same for you and yours.


Tree Newt said...

Bro, I've been so consumed with "Watergate" over here, I didn't even know you were sick. Sorry, dude! I hope you guys all feel better soon. Like you said, it can't run much longer than this!

Marc said...

Trade places with you in a second dude!!!

I'd rather be retching on the porcelain throne than go through what I am!!!

Just get well for Christmas. Cause Santa can't take a sick day!!!

Ted D said...

Mattie, I've been so sick I didn't ask about Watergate. Hopefully the insurance co came through and I'll see you in a few days.

Marc, I know you would bro. Gotta be tough on you right now and I'm thinking about you and the kids. I'm headed out to work so Santa can make his rounds in a few days!

Rich in the garage said...

Hey look!

There is where I work! Big one on the right.

Ted D said...

Which big one, Rich? The one on the far right? Sweet.

HorshamScouse said...

Hope you're feeling better, Ted,
Now my staying away from seafood makes even more sense.

My verification word: mentater!

Ted D said...

John, almost fully recovered. My stomach still feels like I just got off the Tilt-a-Whirl but we're all ready for a visit from the 'Scouser.

Mentater; sounds like a southern dish.