Friday, November 16, 2007

It Must Be French: It say's "Fragile"

Ang and I went Christmas shopping tonight: the kids were at the in laws and we figured we would be able to take care of everything except what Santa was bringing in one fatal swoop.

And we did: however, I now need a shrink to help me get over the past 5 hours.

I don't know what did me in, though the rugrat laying on his stomach riding the skateboard at the Ross outlet is the front runner. Never have I wanted to stomp on the head of a child as much as I did tonight. That is until I came to the realization that if Rakes would have been with us, HE'D have been on the skateboard and I'd have already apologized 1,231 times for his actions.

Long lines, not enough cashiers, and one too many dingbats making exact change and I'm a raving lunatic that makes the Grinch look like St. Nick.

I don't think I'm cut out for Christmas shopping: my biggest clue is I'm not really sure you should be cursing your fellow shoppers under your breath. Can someone explain to me why on a Friday night there was no more than 2 cashiers no matter where we went?

Is the Friday before Thanksgiving typically a slow night? Did all the managers or retail stores in NC decide tonight was a Federal holiday? Or is this typical of Holiday shopping?

All I know is I'm bent: a grown man with no children for 24 hours has no right to be this angry: yet here I am, ready to stomp a mudhole in anyone who gets in my way.

Ah, Christmas. Peace, Love, and Joy.

It's obvious they never had to power shop for Christmas.

I need a stiff drink and a valium.


Tex said...

Can you imagine how Santa must feel?

This Christmas I am excited for :)

Ted D said...

Me too, Tex.

Tree Newt said...

Dude, I feel you on this one. I'm not a fan of the shopping scene anytime, much less Christmas. That's why I buy most of my gifts on the net, or during the day at lunch. No thanks to the kids on skateboards in Ross!

Edge of Design said...

Yeah! Yeah! Ted whatever. Just tell me what the two of you picked out for me. If it's the same thing as last year, OH BOY!!!!! WHOO-HOO! ALL RIGHT!!!!

Tree Newt said...

I want an official Red Rider BB gun with a compass in the stock!

Tex said...

i want peace across the world

and one of those lamps off that show

Ted D said...

Can't tell you, Denise. It'll ruin the surprise. ::note to self- be sure and find out what we gave Denise::

You'll shoot your eye out, dink.

Tex, are you talking about the lamp that was "electric sex"? Man, do I love that movie.

scott h said...

Could we stick to baseball please, That is what this blog is about right.

Please young Mr Frodo, tell us what would be your perfect evening, in 1000 words or less if possible. I think if you won the lottery you would be mad cause they delivered the check during the game.

Ted D said...

Listen grandpa, start your own blog and let's see what you can do.

My idea of a perfect evening? Ball game on the tube, kids at half mast, the phone doesn't ring, and I don't have to talk. To anyone.

There it is, in 27 words: happiness.

Tex said...

Scott I believe Ted's blog says this as a descriptor

One Man's thoughts, rants, and mumblings on family, life, and baseball.

so there

Ted D said...

Thanks for the support, sis.

He's just lost with nothing to do: he needs to get a hobby.

Stacy said...

This "I don't like shopping" thing must be hereditary. Gift Cards are the way to go; I can usually talk Keith into picking them up for me, and I don't have to fight the crowds.

Ted D said...

Stacy, it could have been worse. For the most part we were in toy stores or the toy section, so I could at least occupy myself.

Edge of Design said...

Okay Ted in case you have forgotten it was a New and Improved Diddly Squat!!! Unfortunately it broke so I'm hoping for a new one this year. So much for the "Improved" yes?

Ted D said...

Ah, my old stand by of Diddly Squat. You can expect another one with a promise to try better next year.

Tex said...

honestly I HATE Shopping.

unless its for baseball stuff or jewelry or books

yeah thats all

scott h said...

In honour of you Special Ted , Gman and I went to the mall today just to hang out. Tried on some clothes , sniffed the new colgne . Looked at new tennis shoes. Parking lot so bad had to catch a cab to the building. I think we will do it again tomorrow.

Stacy just say no to gift cards.

Tex , never mind I might want that breath back in 20 yrs.

scott h said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ted D said...

Tex, you are speaking my language.

Bub, you are the oddest man I think I've ever met.

Just say no to malls: you'll thank me later.

Tex said...

what breath?? I do hate shopping.

except for baseball, jewelry, books, oh and Art. I like to shop for Art. But i call it browse.

Ted D said...

Tex, I had no idea what he meant either.

It's senility on his part, I think.