Sunday, March 2, 2008

A Day in the Life of Rakes.

7:06 am: Wake up at this unGodly hour and immediately ask why Darth Vader has a red sword and Obi Wan has a green one.

7:07 am: Ask me if he can play Star Wars Lego's on the PS2.

9:15 am: after playing Star Wars for the last hour, he actually stops long enough for me to dress him for church. Notice the expressions on these two; you'd think they were watching a Lunar Landing rather than Rakes wiping out a platoon of Storm Troopers.

10:00 am 'till 12:15 pm: Church. Where I'm sure he terrorized his teacher, knocked 2 other kids down, and used way more glue than the bottle recomends.

12:30 pm: As his Mom puts his play clothes on, he keeps screaming "Not those pants; they don't have any holes in them!" Upon being asked why he wanted pants with holes, he reponds with great severity "To put guns and lightsabers in, Mom."

2:00 pm 'till 3:00 pm: Supposedly resting in my room. Although the sounds coming out of the room pretty much tell me no resting is getting done, the door is closed and it's otherwise quiet, so what do I care?

3:01 pm: Upstairs on the computer, I hear our door downstairs creak open. Walking to the balcony, I see a little hand pushing the door open inch by inch. In theory, this would keep me from hearing him if he got up. If I was 100% deaf. He's up on top of the nightstand, sticking his head out the door like some deranged turtle. After finally opening the door up enough for him to fit through, he emerges, shirtless (don't ask), to see where I am.

4:00 pm 'till 4:35 pm: Rides with his Mom and sister to get a slushy. Ang brings the baby inside to change his clothes (he'd poked his straw through the bottom of his cup, spilling orange slush all over him) and I hear Rakes hollering "somebody open the door!" I go out to the garage and see him climbing back into the van. He mutters something about peeing, so I try and get him to come inside to go, but he claims he's fine.

4:39 pm: Turns out he WAS fine. When I saw him climbing back INTO the van, he'd just got done taking a whizz on the front lawn. In front of our neighbor who was washing her car. I'm pretty sure Ang is done going outside during daylight hours for the next few months.

As for the next 3 1/2 hours, they sort of went by in a blur. We went to my Mom's, where Rakes spent 30 minutes trying to find somewhere to hang a helicopter while raiding Mom's pantry. After arriving home, he sort of ate his dinner while running back and forth to the tv to play "Madagascar" AND jumping from the sofa to the ottoman to the chair, then retracing his steps.

He finally went to bed about 10 minutes ago, raging against the machine until the very end, hollering "I gotta tell you sumpin" as the door closed. I wish I could tell you this was a rare instance.

Like I said, I wish.

Finally, last night at Spring Training, Mike Lowell held a "Dancing with the Stars" event to raise money for his charity. Taking a spin around the dance floor were Mike Lowell (who did a great job), Alex Cora, Dustin Pedroia, and Pap.

Pedie came out, ripped his shirt off like some member of the "Middle Schooler's Chipendale Fan Club" to reveal, weirdly enough, the word "Daddy" written in marker across his chest.

As for Papelbon?

I got nothing.

*The pictures of the two whackjobs dancing? Taken by Brita Meng Outzen. The one of the two whackjobs playing the PS2? Taken by me.*


Tex said...

see i can post with less words and still bring on the same effect :)


Ted D said...

You did good, Tex. Except mine was mainly about Rakes with the Sox at the end.

But you still did it well. ;)

Tex said...

i always enjoy Rakes and Trot storys. they make me laugh while the stories about Ciera make me smile and go awwwwww.

but that pic of So crazy. like i said...manny aint the crazy one anymore

Ted D said...

Tex, you have got it nailed.

Manny's off in the clubhouse, pointing and laughing at Pedroia and Pap as we speak.

What in the world could have posessed Pedie to do that? LOL; Jet has it nailed.

This team has more personality in one finger than the rest of baseball combined.

Tex said...

yah if we could win the World Series on multiple personalities on a team. We'd win today

Ted D said...

I try and follow every team somewhat, and I'm fairly certain the Red Sox have collected the biggest bunch of oddballs and iconclasts in all of baseball.

And I love it.

Tex said...

its like they are the SG group of baseball ya know?

Krystle [RSO] said...

Like all of my friends are saying - we think theres a chance that Dustin put "daddy" on his chest to tell his teammates that his wife, Kelli, and him may be expecting a baby. If that's the case. Another Dustin? Oh good God world help us!

I have to say, I LOVE stories about Rakes. Wayne and I talked about how a covno was reminding us of Rakes, because Star War terms were being brought up (force - livesavers[sabers] - all that stuff). We laughed and thought of you guys =]!

Ted D said...

Tex, I never thought of it that way, but you may be on to something.

Krystle, glad you like them; I've got a feeling there are a ton more to come.

Wayne's World said...

"Notice the expressions on these two; you'd think they were watching a Lunar Landing rather than Rakes wiping out a platoon of Storm Troopers."

And any wonder why we think you could write a book, could be explained away in that one sentence.

Ted D said...


Thanks, man. It helps when you have a good subject to write about.

Tex said...

It helps when you have crazy characters to write about.

fixed :)

Ted D said...

Thanks, Tex.

Your's is better.

scott h said...

I knew a couple ball players would come out of the closet sooner or later,Didn't think it would be a couple of Sox.

JMP said...

Hey Ted,
What a great picture you have with the boys both looking at the video game.

Now, the two pics with the older boys
further down, paps and the mighty thats scary!!!!

~**Dawn**~ said...

I am starting to believe that the front office puts up with these "personality quirks" because it scares off the EE from wanting to actually *acquire* any of these guys. Seriously: could you picture the Steindevil Spawn putting up with *that* from their squad of Storm Troopers... I mean, clones... I mean "class act professional ball players"? HA!!

Tex said...

awwwwwwwwwwwww...isnt that cute? Scottie is jealous

scott h said...

Naw I checked Tex my team doesn't have any.

Tex said...

::flew over Scott's head::

I meant you were jealous of the Boys looking so fine :)

Redbeard76 said...

The caption for the photo on the right just above the 24 pic should read:

"We're laughing at you, not with you."

Happy Monday.

Ted D said...

Bub, I'm pretty sure a guy who'll dress like that in front of his teammates is secure in his sexuality!

JMP, the video is even better, if possible.

Dawn, I've never thought of it that way, but you may be right! It's a good a theory as any.

Tex, you see my cluelessness runs in my extended family as well, right?

Stephen, Happy Monday to you too man. I actually thought Bush got off some pretty good one-liners. The one about Pap's pants was pretty good.

Stacy said...

He was standing on your nightstand and could open the door? I'm tired just reading about his day. You and Ang are my heros. :)

Ted D said...

He was on it like some crazy Mt. Lion ready to pounce, Stacy.

Tree Newt said...

Dude, I was cracking up last night when you guys came over to mom and dads. The decibel level in the house went from "churchmouse" to "747 at LaGuardia" in 0.2 seconds. And it started with Ciera!

You have my sincerest sympathies.

And I am a bit worried about Pap.

Ted D said...

Mattie, it's all good.

I just bought stock in one of those earplug companies.

Nicolas said...

"Church. Where I'm sure he terrorized his teacher, knocked 2 other kids down, and used way more glue than the bottle recomends."

Rakes did NOT do this. And, for your information, we did not use glue.

Had I not had five very large versions of Rakes playing Halo at my house last night (Rami is home!), I would have posted this as an immediate retort last night.

(Again, this is Karen, not Nicolas. I'm beginning to think I don't have a Blogger account in my own name.)

Ted D said...

Tell Rami hello from me, Karen.

And quit pretending to be your husband!