Saturday, May 9, 2009

Parenting is Easy

Ang and I have spent the better part of the past 10 years trying to figure out the best way to handle disciplining children. We've read every book (in full disclosure SHE'S read every book then told me about it while I pretended to listen while trying to watch the Red Sox game) and listened to every so called expert tell us what we needed to do and when to do it.

I've sought the council of the wisest and most knowledgeable voices on the subject of child rearing that I know of, including the women from "Nanny 911", that ninny from "John and Kate Plus Eight" and the dude that gave me my sausage gravy biscuit at McDonalds this morning.

In the past 10 years we've tried time out, spankings, positive reinforcement, taking them outside until they are at the point of exhaustion, and once, which I'm pretty sure happened when Rakes peed in the garage, curling up in the fetal position and hoping it would all just magically go away.

During this whole process we've endured lipstick on the wall, children barrel rolling down stairs, epic meltdowns due to the lack of Chocolate Pop Tarts, and dents in the refrigerator. ( I still can't figure that one out.)

I'd be remiss here if I didn't mention the 7,678 times one of them has yelled "DAD! He's not no his side of the couch!", the fact that the boys seem to view the toilet as an alien that will take them away, and Ciera being diagnosed with the rare "I can't clean my room or I'll just DIE" syndrome.

Finally, after 10 years of searching for the best way to make sure our kids are polite, well behaved, contributing members of society, we've finally found our answer.

Until you've walked a mile in my shoes?

Don't judge me.


HorshamScouse said...

That look in his eyes says: 'In four or five years I'll be bigger than you, Dad.'

Sow the wind, Ted. :)

Ted D said...

To set the record straight, I heard a ripping sound and found Ciera taping Rakes to the door while they both giggled like crazy and I tried not to laugh.

It's not that bad of an idea though.....

Rich in the garage said...

Should have used Duct Tape.

Or carpet staples.

Trot's Hat said...

Ted, remind me never to mention this to the kids I live with. :lol:

Ted D said...

Duct tape..... that would work better.

And Bridget, no problem. ;)

Tree Newt said...

I'm with Rich...Duct tape works much better. Harder for them to tear.

Dude, Child Protective Services is going to be all over you. Caveats, my brotha, caveats.

Rich in the garage said...

If I was never taken away from my parents ted wil be just fine.

Ted D said...

Doesn't Caveat play for the Hurricanes?

Rich, your still in for MP right?

Tree Newt said...

I think he plays for the Bruins now...and he's killing us tonight. This looks like Game 1 all over again.

Ted D said...

Saw that earlier, Mattie. It can't be easy, right?