Saturday, June 2, 2007

A letter to Alex Rodriguez

Dear Slappy,

As you were getting your lunch handed to you today at Fenway, I hope you were paying attention to the play of your fellow third baseman for the Red Sox.

Single, double, Home Run, with 4 RBI's and he had several outstanding defensive plays at third to get some key outs for his club. Finally, and Slappy this is where you need to take the cucumbers off your eyelids, your hands outa that bowl of whatever for your nails, and pay attention.

Did you see him try to knock your 2nd baseman onto the pitchers mound? THAT is how you try to break up a double play: on the base paths, BEFORE he's already thrown the ball, not after the fact. Notice the absence of an elbow to the marbles like the one you threw: notice his lack of dramatic eye rolling, arms flailing, and ladylike prancing after he was called out. Just like John Wayne after decking some yahoo in a bar fight, Lowell just strolled back to the dugout looking like he wished he could go right back out and do it again.

Before you and Cano get your pantyhose in a knot, guess where he learned to play like that? In the organization YOU play for: the Yankees.

So tell Robbie to put his skirt back on and that it's OK he thought otherwise: with the example you've set for him, it's easy to see why he'd be a little confused.

You've had quite the week, haven't you Alex? Stripper gate, honking off the entire Blue Jay team with your "MINE" call, and then coming to Boston to get unmercifully booed for the past 2 days. It don't get any easier you know. That guy you're facing tomorrow: the one with the 97 mph fastball, the nasty hook, and a mean streak the size of the state he calls home?

He's pretty good.


Christine E. said...

WHAT A GREAT Game! Did wonders for my hives.....

The list can go one and on about the hilarity in tonight's game--the best being Mercenary Roger HURT HIMSELF.....every time I heard THAT, I damn near fell off the couch laughing...

Hope you are well!

Go Sox!

Ted D said...

Christine, you think Roger is regretting his decision? When he agreed to come back, they are 5 1/2 back: tonight? 13 1/2 back.

It also strikes me funny that he's not going to pitch in Chicago, but instead in Pittsburgh: a NL team.

Today was great: no Pepto, and except for yelling myself hoarse, I'm in good health!

I'm great, and I hope the same for you.

Tex said...

I think Roger is not sleeping well at night and needing Debbie to do ALOT of 'comforting' if ya know what i mean

Carol said...

You hit the nails on the head in your letter Ted LOL That "after the fact" business was ridiculous. What a freakin' game!

Stacy said...

Do you feel better now that you've ranted for umpteen paragraphs to A-Rod? :) (It was very funny, for the record).

Sorry, but I like Tex's picture better. Shows Lowell as a human battering ram more clearly.

We watched from the 7th on, and it was an exciting game. Hope their 1st baseman is ok. The Sox fans showed a lot of class clapping for him when he finally was able to get up.

Tex said...

Ted I told her not to tell YOU that!!! and besides GMTA...::doing the pointing at my eyes to you::

I got your back...even if you're real family doesnt :)

Ted D said...

Hi Carol, Stacy, and Texas:

Carol, it was an awesome game. Though the marathon Sox/Yankee games tax my wife's last nerve. She had walked the block 10 times in the time it took to play the last 3 innings!

Stacy, I told Tex I wanted to use her picture: however, the gentleman in me let her keep if for herself.

GMTA is right Tex: you SURE we aren't related somehow? ;)

And I appreciate you having my back: I knew I could count on you.

Stacy said...

Tex, I have to give him a hard time. You should hear how he talks to me when he's not being Mr. Sensitive Husband/Father on his blog. :)

I work with/for him, and he once told me every company had an office flunkie, and I was theirs. Nice, huh?

So if I like your picture better, I'll say so. He can take it. :)

Tex said...

\\I told Tex I wanted to use her picture: however, the gentleman in me let her keep if for herself.//

Did you THINK I would NOT read this???? "let her KEEP it for herself?????" LIKE YOU were gonna make me take it Down??? Bwahahahahahahahaha!!!!

now Stacy does not appear to the office flunkie to me....i dont recall her asking how to use the computer programs :)

Ted D said...

You both are shattering my already fragile male ego. ;)

Tex said...

Fragile MY Ash :) Im keeping it clean for ya.

Ted D said...

Tex, I'm really a quiet, shy person who just wants to blend in.

You know, sort of like how you are.

Tex said...

quiet shy...hmmmm kinda like Rakes?

Ted D said...

EXACTLY Tex: just like Rakes. And Trot. And Ciera.

Hmm.. I see some sort of pattern starting.

Tex said...

why couldnt any of them be like Angie? :-p

Ted D said...

Oh trust me: all the GOOD qualities they all have come from her. Don't believe me, just ask her. ;)

Tex said...

I really have more chores to do before the game...just not in the mood. rather watch baseball...been watching Indians vs Tigers

Ted D said...

You know what? That sounds pretty good. Boys are sleeping, so I'm gonna go lay on the couch and see what other games are on.

I'll be back later on.