Sunday, April 26, 2009

Chapter 12 in "How in God's Name Did I Survive the Toddler Years"

If you're a semi-regular regular at this blog, or as I sometime refer to it "My slow descent into the Abyss of Insanity" you may recall we're having a bit of difficulty potty training Trot.

By "bit" I mean the boy has peed/pooped in almost every room on every floor and in every available receptacle while avoiding the actual bathroom like it had a 3 headed monster living in it. Thankfully this normally happens when I'm at work but it also means my two days off each week turn into a real life version of "Beat the Clock", usually ending with Trot victorious and me sobbing quietly in the laundry room.

Mercifully the most recent incident happened on Friday afternoon with me safely tucked away at work and roughly 20 miles upwind. Ang took Heckle and Jeckle out to play and before she could utter her first "Get OUT of the neighbors garage!" he'd turned his pants into fertilizer.

Getting him out of his clothes, she goes inside to put it all in the washing machine with a stern "Stay RIGHT here in the garage until I get back."

Naturally she found him in the back yard, buck naked and climbing around the OUTSIDE of the play fort, with poop all over his butt and legs mind you, while my next door neighbor and her elderly mother watched this spectacle unfolding from their back deck.

(For a visual, where she found him was on the 1 inch wide 2x4 directly to Ciera's left)
She was finally able to get him completely clean by making him stand beside the house while she hosed him off with the water hose. Sort of like how they clean up the elephants at the circus now that I think about it.

The woman is a saint.

Considering the only thing that helps me cling to the fragile thread of sanity I have left is Red Sox baseball, this whole Yankee series, while almost giving me a stroke, is definitely helping. Comeback win in the 11th Friday night, down 0-6 yesterday only to deliver an epic beat down 16-11, I've got my broom on standby.

Cotton balls for my ears due to the ESPN telecast? Check.

Sox cap? Check.

Throw pillow to muffle the yelling/cursing? Check.

Masterson vs Pettitte. Fenway Park. 8 p.m.

Let's get it on.


Stacy said...

He really isn't into this whole potty training thing, is he? :)

Hope the brooms come out tonight.

fla beck said...

Ted, I thought Jacob was gonna start kindergarten without being potty trained. This brings back memories. In a year, you really WILL be able to look back on it and laugh. Props to Ang for being a practical Mom and hosing him off!

Ted D said...

Stacy, you'd think he'd get tired of it but no luck so far.

Fla beck, I hope so. God help me I hope so. ;)

HorshamScouse said...

Jacoby stealing home makes up for all of it.

My verifiaction word: tedua!!!

HorshamScouse said...

My typing test word: verification.

Ted D said...

How sweet was that steal, John?

Rich in the garage said...

The sun is shining, the sky is blue, I've got the day off and Hank is catatonic somewhere.

Could this day get any better?

Girardi is going to run like Elian Gonsalves from NYC the second that plane touches down.

You watch.

Ted D said...

Morning, Jr. And I'm pretty sure the answer is no; this day can't get any better.

Rich in the garage said...

If i had a sam summer and a liberally clothed woman hanging out with me I think it would be better.

Ted D said...

Well, yeah.

Tex said...


Ted D said...

You woohooing about anything particular or just life in general, Tex?