Remember Animal from the Muppet Show?
I'm pretty sure he's been re-incarnated as Trot; when I arrived home from work today I was hit with a play by play of the days events that would have made a lesser man weep.
This is the headboard in my bedroom. Which he was standing ON TOP OF when he performed a perfect swan dive onto the bed.
Here is the armoire in my room, where he used the drawers like a ladder to climb up and completely freeze up the DirecTV Tivo. I have no idea how it got fixed; I was pushing reset and cursing under my breath while Rakes was pushing random buttons on the remote. Somehow it works; I'm going with divine intervention and leaving it at that.
My kitchen counter tops. Which he apparently learned to climb overnight, since Ang found him fiddling with the stove knobs and playing with the lighters we have in the cabinets today. It's a minor miracle he didn't blow the house up or set the kitchen on fire.Now, I'm pretty sure I'm gonna have to buy a birdcage and just keep him in it. Either that or lock him in the laundry room for 3 hour intervals.
And no, I'm not done. This is the chest in his room. Which Angie left unlocked and him alone for approximately 2 minutes and 23 seconds. In that time, he climbed to the top, threw all the baseballs inside the glass vase onto the floor, and proceeded to take a whiz, while standing ON TOP OF THE FREAKING chest, into the now empty vase.
Did I mention there is a toilet 3 FEET OUTSIDE HIS ROOM?I'm getting one of these tomorrow; I'm not sure yet whether I'm getting it for him or for me.
I'll keep you posted.
Seriously. How can you NOT trust this face?
I'm gonna go upgrade my life insurance policy now. I'm 99.9% certain there is no way I make it to 50.
EDITORS NOTE: After posting, I realized that in the final picture, Trot is flipping me the bird.
Of course he is.
All or Nothing at All
1 week ago