Wednesday, January 9, 2008

The call I didn't want to hear

Got a message around noon today from Ang that went something like this; "Trot had something go through his lip and we're on our way to the Emergency Room to get stitches". An hour and a half later she FINALLY picked up.

Turns out he'd missed the bottom step on the front porch and his bottom tooth went through his upper lip, leaving that nice red scar hiding behind the macaroni and cheese plastered over his face. No stitches were needed, just an antibiotic to keep it from getting infected and an admonishment to make sure he was careful.

Right. You'll find better odds the Israelites and Palestinians will reach a peace accord than this kid taking it easy.

As my adopted little brother candaon told me on the phone tonight, I'm raising the next generation of Evel Knievel; ever since Rakes was born, I've cringed when I've seen our home number come across my cell phone's caller ID. I was positive each call was going to tell me about broken bones, random acts of violence, or the neighbor's house getting set on fire. Today was round one in what I'm sure is a decades long series of messages that result in my insurance premiums increasing ten fold.

In a rare display of kindness and good will toward his little brother, Rakes let's us all know how concerned he really is about Trot's latest mishap....

Give me strength.


Tex said...

is he grabbing his crotch??? LOL OMG!!! Boys will be boys

but your boys are EXTREME Boys

just look at it this way...they're getting all the bad stuff out of the way early so their teen years are smooooooth sailing

or not

Ted D said...

Yes he is.

And I don't believe a word you are saying.

Tex, it's been nice knowing you. I'll most likely be dead in around 10 years. If they are like this now, can you IMAGINE what they'll be like as teenagers? And don't forget, I've got a 9 year old girl as well; they might as well fit me for a rubber room now.

Tex said...

oh pashaw. Girls are easy :)

look I made it and look what ive been though. Im telling ya. print these all out around the time Rakes turns 13...sit them down and show them what you have...every week remind them what will be in a book one day UNLESS the teen years are spotless.

and maybe it'll work. first time they screw up.

sell it to a publisher...and you're set for retirement :)

Life with Hellions and How the Red Sox kept me Sane.

there...its your title

~**Dawn**~ said...

There is a distinct possibility I have just been left speechless.

Ted D said...

I like the title Tex. And all these stories will be printed off, don't you worry.

I'm just not sure how much everyone will be willing to read this nonsense. You are great and a captive audience; Just not sure how many people will find this interesting.

Ted D said...


I left you speechless?

Or rather, Rakes left you speechless?

Either way, I'm not sure that is good or bad. ;)

Tex said...

ok take off these legirons so i can go to bed will ya?

night Ted

Ted D said...

Night Tex.

Sleep well and I'm glad you are feeling better.

HorshamScouse said...

Trot's made of rubber, or Kryptonite or something.
Glad he came off relatively unscathed, and at that age the scar will disappear.

Check with your Dad: is this hereditary? If you or your brother were like this at this age, then there's hope for all of you.

Or not, of course:)

Ted D said...

Horsham, according to my folks, we were NEVER like this. Either they have a terrible memory, or I'm a Dead Man Walking.

I'm pulling for the memory loss.

Tree Newt said...


Second, let's count our indiscretions as wee lads:

Using hairspray and a lighter to perform "feats of flame" in the barn.

Diving from the top of the slide over 6 feet of concrete into the swimming pool.

Getting OUT of the car to go a few rounds with a car full of idiots.

Seeing if we could get all 4 wheels off the ground on the 76 Chevy as we crossed the RR tracks.

Naw....we were NOWHERE NEAR as wild as your boys!

Problem is: mom and dad don't KNOW about half the stuff we did!

beckperson said...



PS: Good luck!

Ted D said...

Matt, under advise of counsel I have no recollection of any of the events you described. Are you sure you're not talking about a movie you saw once?

Thanks Becks. Sadly, you could take a version of that picture at almost any time. The boy is proud of that fact he's a male, let's just say.

Redbeard76 said...

Nice Michael Jackson impression there by Rakes. The nutgrabbing part, not the pervy kid-toucher part.

OTOH, Trot may need to be encased in a bubble.

~**Dawn**~ said...

OMG. Could you *imagine* the damage Trot could do, bouncing around in a bubble?? Like one of those Super Balls that bounces all over the place? I mean, he'd be safe, but what about the rest of the world?!

Ted D said...

Stephen, I don't know why but the boy will put off going to the bathroom until the LAST possible second. His sister took this picture and he was screaming at her to leave him alone. It was the perfect storm for a photo op.

Dawn, I don't even want to think about him with that much power. We'd all be in big trouble.

Redbeard76 said...

Like a bull in a china shop.

Ted D said...

Only worse.