Carl Everett is nuts. Not in a Manny Ramirez going into the Green Monster, wearing an ipod in the field, and stand at home plate and observe how pretty a white ball and a blue sky are way either. Nuts in a Albert Belle throwing a ball a reporter, Woody Hayes punching a player on the other team, and Delmon Young throwing a bat at the umpire sort of way.
This is a guy who doesn't believe dinosaurs existed. I quote: "The Bible never says anything about dinosaurs. You can't say there were dinosaurs when you never saw them. Somebody actually saw Adam and Eve. No one ever saw a Tyrannosaurus Rex". How does he explain the mountain of fossils and other evidence we have that they DID exist? Man made fakes, of course. Uh, Carl? The Bible also doesn't say anything about snow, but I'm pretty sure that's not a new development.
If you're an umpire, don't question whether Crazy Carl's batting stance is legal; he gave umpire Ron Kulpa a headbutt that Bobo Brazil would envy one time for doing just that. Oh yeah, the moon landing? Never happened; created on a Hollywood sound stage. You KNOW this guy thinks there was a second shooter on the grassy knoll, those things in Texas the other week really were U.F.O's, and E.T. was a documentary.
When I fully realized how gone this guy is happened 5 days after 9/11. While the rest of us were still in a state of shock, wondering when the next attack was going to come, and duct taping our windows, this cat was cursing out his manager for a lack of playing time. Does it ever rain on your planet, Carl?
I read today that after playing last season for the Atlantic League, it appears Carl is ready for a return to the show and the White Sox and Angels may be interested. All I can figure is the circus doesn't go to those cities and they need a freak show to entertain the masses; this guy is one step away from coming to the plate wearing a Roman centurions helmet and a dress while singing "I Feel Pretty". Give me Manny picking dandelions in the outfield any day.
Quick note on the home front: Ang had her monthly women's club meeting at the house tonight while I took Huey, Dewey, and Louise to my folks. It's like taking a wild animal out of it's natural habitat and plopping into a petting zoo, then taking it back 3 hours later to watch the hilarity ensue.
Except when you're the zookeeper.
I just keep muttering "You're going to Boston for 5 days by yourself" over and over again and imagining what it'll be like to actually be IN Fenway Park.
I think it's helping.
All or Nothing at All
1 week ago