We've all been scared before: whether it was from something as stupid as a movie or a tv show, or a real life instance like 9-11.
For me, the most afraid I've ever been is when there is something wrong with one of my children and I can't do a stinking thing about it.
When Ciera was 2, she got so sick with a rotovirus she became so dehydrated we had to take her to the ER to get an IV of fluid. Watching my baby girl in that much pain was the toughest thing I had experienced at that point in my life.
Flash forward 8 years or so, and I had to carry my son Trot into the operating room to have tubes put in his ear. Yeah, I know, it's pretty common surgery: YOU carry your child into a room, watch them go under, have to leave them there, then tell me how easy it was for you to do.
Late yesterday, we were told that Rakes, my hard charging little hellion, has a heart murmur. Went in for his 3 year checkup perfect, and comes out with that. Now I'll admit, when Ang called and told me, I pretty much started to freak out. The doc said all the right things: it's common with young children, 99% of the time it goes away, etc....
He sent home a brochure that calls it a "Innocent Heart Murmur", and it goes over how they occur, what they are, and what to look for. It all sounds really comforting, and I'm sure everything will be OK. But when I looked at that little hooligan running around today, I had to fight back the thoughts that kept entering into my head.
When it's YOUR child, the words "innocent" and "heart murmur" just don't add up.
I've got a feeling I'll spend the last few minutes before I go to bed tonight the same way I did last night: standing over my son and talking to the man upstairs.
All or Nothing at All
1 week ago