Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Jedi's, swordfights, and lobsters.

Lord help me: Rakes has discovered Star Wars.

Up until now, all his sword fighting has been imitating Peter Pan and Bibleman, the latter being a really cheesy children's series starring that dude that used to play Scott Baio's running buddy on "Charles in Charge". Bad acting but good lessons for the wee ones, especially my budding juvenile delinquent.

We have now entered Defcon 5: ever since I got home, I've been asked "but is a dedi, Dad?" and "bhy dat man dot horns on his head?", not to mention the 3, 279 times he's asked me if I "bant to dordfight, Dad?".

It's like he's been drinking water all his life, and all of a sudden we gave him a Jolt cola: instant freak out. He has watched "The Phantom Menace" 4 times today: he sits and watches when there is no fighting, but whenever the light sabers come out, he's up swinging his sword over his head like Conan the Barbarian.

I don't think this is a positive development for my walls, ceiling fans, or the two other children and their well being. And I'm questioning the sanity of my Mom for letting him borrow the DVD and my wife for letting him watch the stinkin' thing.

Down in Tampa, Daisuke gave up 2 runs on a BJ Upton home run: final score, 2-1 Devil Rays. I have no explanation for why the bats turn into useless pieces of wood whenever he pitches, but it happened again tonight. 14, yep, 14 freaking runners were LEFT ON BASE tonight. Makes me want to hit my nether regions with a 2 liter coke bottle to see that many potential runs handing their batting helmets and gloves to 1B coach Luis Alicea: poor guy needs a wheelbarrow to haul off the helmets, batting gloves, and assorted body armor for 14 men.

Still, we took the series while the best the Yankees can do is win 1 out of 3 from the Angels: we do that the rest of the way, the Sox are playing in the postseason and the Yankees are making tee times at Pebble Beach.

I wonder if Rakes can use some of his new found Jedi mind tricks and make the ball look as big as the moon to the Angel hitters tonight?


C-Kayak said...

May the force be with Rakie!

And it was no fun to return home from a long day at the zoo/going out to eat, and turning on NESN to see the Sox winning 1-0, then just minutes later, Dice-K giving up a 2-run homer. No fun at all.

Ted D said...

The guy can't pitch a whole lot better than he did, except cut down the walks.

Edwin Jackson allowed 1 run: Edwin freaking Jackson.

Ugh. Hope you had a great time at the zoo and dinner out Carol. The zoo is always a good time for Ted's house.

1-0 Yankees, bottom of the 4th.

Tex said...

guess im glad I didnt get to see the game today. finishing up on my work...and hope to fly back tomorrow afternoon to austin :)

its good to finish early

Ted D said...

Evening Tex: believe me, you didn't miss much.

The lobsters struck again.

Have a safe flight home, and Baltimore is 2 weeks from Saturday!

I can't wait.

KAYLEE said...

I love that kid:P

C-Kayak said...

OK Ted - Date #3 on Sox Appeal just told the single mom that he is a "Reiki Master" (and it sounds like Rakie)- lol.

Ted D said...

Do I need to get a lawyer to sue for copyright enfringement? ;)

Carol, don't know if this has ever come up, but Stacy who comments here has called the boy Rakie since he was born!

I just call him trouble.

C-Kayak said...

Well, the lady has nerve! She didn't choose any of the 3 guys. First time that I saw that happen on the show LOL

Ted D said...

Carol, not that I'd EVER watch it, but for some reason, that show gets blacked out for me down here in NC.

I have no clue why MLB would black out a dating show, but they do.

::mad because shows like that are right in my wheelhouse. I am addicted to Hells Kitchen, after all.::

C-Kayak said...

TD - Now you know you would watch it right after "Rock of Love" :D

Ted D said...

Rock of Love is the bomb.

And the chicks with fake boobs has NOTHING to do with me liking the show.

I promise.

Stacy said...

Love the look on his face, Ted. He's got some serious moves with that light sabre; he was working Jared's the other night and wanted to take it home. I told him to leave it here so he could play with it when he comes over. :( He was sad, but put it in the closet.

I think we can blame this all on Mattie since he started with the Star Wars thing in the 70's, then Jared got hooked, and now Rakes. :)

scott h said...

Well, what is the verdict from the second soccer practice? Did they advise you to have Rakes run a couple miles BEFORE practice to burn off some energy.

I assume you will have a new post tonight. Getting ready to do some grilling. So I will check back on you later.

went grocery shopping with the wife today. Now I know why I don't go. Something about first hand witness of two buggy checkout makes me weak. Plus she says we missed a few things.

How about a little equal time for little man Trot. No tales on him lately.

Ted D said...

Hey Bub: no practice because of the heat. If it's over 96, they won't let the wee ones out there.

I'm the same way about the grocery shopping: makes me weak in the knees.

I have been sitting downstairs pondering a new post, and I've got the ol' writers block, so who knows what I'll pull out of my rear end.

scott h said...

What do we have, a rain delay?

Ted D said...

Yep: they are saying they may START at 10:30.


Don't worry though: Mt Dew and toothpicks to prop the eyelids open are close by.

Are you getting the game on WGN? I'm getting the Comcast feed so I doubt it. Was hoping so, because I'd get to hear the Boston broadcast if WGN was showing it.

KAYLEE said...

UGH I cant stay up that late:(

beckperson said...

Ted, can't believe YOU have writer's block! I'm distraught as you are my blogging idol!

You'll be happy to hear we have the windows open again up north and summer has returned! YAY!!!

Ted D said...

Becks, you'd think with the 3 ring circus going 100% of the time, I'd have a wealth of material, wouldn't you?

I actually try not to post too many about the kids/baseball in a row, just to mix it up a little. I'm sure I'll think of something.

Thank you very much for the compliment, but if I'm your role model, you are in SERIOUS trouble!

Glad to hear you all are back suffering with the rest of us! ;)

Christine E. said...

Evening Everyone:

WOW, this is like waiting for a Left Coast game to begin....Yuk...

Not that I am looking forward to their commentary..ewwwww

Hope the kids are feeling better...Now that Rakes is a Jedi he can probably heal himself or something..LOL

Go Sox!

Mattie said...

Bro, I am still laughing at that picture of Rakes! He has that guy that played Anakin Skywalker scowl down to a tee! CLASSIC!!! Just remember, though, light-sabers and swords are a big step up from hairspray, matches, and hay, so count your blessings you don't have a barn.

By the way, you have no idea what hot is until you're in Charleston SC on a 100 degree day. B-R-U-T-A-L.

Ted D said...

Hi Christine: I've got to get the inside thingamajob for my XM radio for nights like tonight. The White Sox radio guys CAN'T be as bad as Hawk and DJ.

I'm just worried he'll start being able to move stuff with his mind!

Mattie, I've been in Columbia, SC and Fayetteville, NC so I've got some idea, but I've heard it's toasty.

Mattie said...

Bro, it was worse than Fayette-Nam. It was like being in an oven with a hot, wet towel wrapped around your face. It sucked. Big time.

Today was a chilly 90 degrees, by comparison.

KAYLEE said...

stupid rain i wANT IT HERE:d

Tex said...

::stretches out:: Man its good to be home :)

Ted D said...

You get to eat at your favorite restaraunt, oat muffin?

Just try to enjoy the quiet bro.

Ted D said...


Welcome home: missed you around here.

KAYLEE said...

Glad youre back TEx!

scott h said...

Poptart, your wife let you have your computer back? As early as your were at your hotel room I bet you went thru a roll of quarters on the vibrating bed.

Ted D said...

//As early as your were at your hotel room I bet you went thru a roll of quarters on the vibrating bed.//

Tears. Real, genuine tears of laughter!

Game postponed. Double header tomorrow.

::figures out exscuse to get home at 1, realizes corn muffin will just be leaving by then, figures it'll be OK::

Stacy said...

Ted, Mom & Dad are going to see Matt and Amanda today, so he may never leave the house. :)

BTW, Keith says you all are missing me at work. This would be a good time to apologize for calling me the "office flunkie". :)