Wednesday, September 19, 2007


*Picture from the Boston Globe*

I finally know how Charlie Brown feels: after Lucy pulls the football away for the umpteenth time, I can now empathize with the lil' bald 8 year old.

Losing tonight to Toronto, after Pap gave up the Grand Slam to make it 6-1 in the 8th, I can at last empathize with Charlie.

It feels like you took a sledgehammer shot to the stomach and there is nothing you can do about it. After 3 straight losses, I just KNEW tonight would be different. Sadly, it was not meant to be: the lead is now 1.5 games heading into the weekend.

I'm not worried, depressed, or suicidal: I'm just numb: hopefully a weekend in Tampa Bay will cure me of all my ills.

Tomorrow is a day off for the boys, and it's the first time all year I'm actually looking forward to it: Rakes has soccer practice, Ciera has cheer leading practice, Angie has choir practice, and I'm spent.

I've got Prison Break and Kitchen Nightmares on the TiVo and Furniture Market coming a week from Friday: I think I could use a day off myself.

From now until Friday night, I'm on a sports boycott: it's local radio and Opie and Anthony for me from now until then.

Keeping the Fair.


JMP said...

Well I feel like Dagwood Bumsted's Mail Man...every time I pick myself up...BAM...I'm knocked out cold with all my hopes and dreams of a Division Pennant fluttering in the breeze around me !!!

I will be at the Trop on Sunday. Hope Wake can keep his Tropicana Magic going!!

Ted D said...

jmp, I'll be counting on you to pull them through on Sunday: Dagwood be damned.

The past 5 games have been suckorious.

It's GOT to get better. We still lead the division: I keep thinking about the Cardinal's last year: Hope IS alive.

I just need a little prompting.

scott h said...

In honour of Teds sports boycott and Tex renewing our friendship. I bring you a Texas joke.

A young Texan walks into a bar and orders a drink. "Got any ID?" asks the bartender. The Texan replies, "About what?"

Ted D said...

Good one Bub.

How about this?

In honor of "Talk like a Pirate Day".

Why do Pirate's love Jessica Beil?

Because they love their BOOTY!

Lame, I know.

scott h said...


Mattie said...

Guys, fill me in. I got Ted's message, but have no clue what is up at the Perch.

Ted D said...

I don't know: the boy won't answer his phone.

And I have GOT to go to bed.

Tex said...

A southern Oklahoma farmer dies and, being a heathen, goes to Hell. When he gets there, its 95 F with 90% humidity, but Satan notices he's kicked back on the brimstone relaxing comfortably.

He asks, "Why aren't you miserable like everyone else here?" The farmer replies, "Oh, this is like a warm spring day in southern Oklahoma. I like it."

Angry, Satan turns up the thermostat until its 100F and 95% humidity. Still, the farmer's happy. "This is like a good June day on the farm. Not bad at all."

Furious, Satan turns it up to 105 F and 99% humidity. Everyone is even more miserable, except the southern Oklahoma farmer still resting.

"Hey, this is like a good August day on the farm bailing hay. Feels good, the hotter the better."

In a total rage, Satan turns the thermostat down to minus 25 F. Within seconds, the air becomes chilly and frost appears, soon followed by solid ice everywhere. Satan smirks, watching the farmer.

The confused farmer looks down at the frozen ground for a moment, suddenly jumps up excitedly, looks around everywhere and begins to laugh, scream, and jump for joy.

"Oklahoma State University WON A NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP!”

Mattie said...

Tex, THAT was a good one!

Ted D said...


NICE! That was funny! Now, Scotty is a Sooner fan, so it won't get him too bad, but my sister Sheri is a pokes fan: this would get her good.

scott h said...

Now that Tex is funny. I will use that on my Poke friends.

Jr I wonder how things are hanging over at the perch?

Tex said...

How can you tell if a Sooner is a married man?

There's tobacco juice running down both doors of his pickup

How do you starve a Sooner?

Hide the food stamps under the soap.

beckperson said...

Expectations are a brutal thing. After spending two days with a clenched jaw and a splitting headache, ready to snap at anyone who looked at me, I surrendered to: "Well, at least our boys will be in the playoffs."

I think I feel better, so long as I don't see a MFY uni. I know I play into the stereotypes of the rivalry, but they make my skin crawl.

Enjoy your day 'off', everyone.

edgeofdesign said...

Y'all are nutty! Love the jokes especially Scott's. I'm sorry that the Jay's won but the Jay's are all Canada's got so with all due respect, "How about them Jays?"

I'd write more but I better run!

Ted D said...

Bub, have fun fleecing the rich old ladies today.

Another good one Tex. Glad you changed that to the Sooners: Scotty was a little too comfortable with the OSU jokes.

Becks, I need this day off from baseball: I'm too old and too busy with these kids to get myself as worked up as I have this week. It'll be good for the soul. I think JET posted it this morning, but it appears Sox management is making sure we are ready for a playoff run, regardless of whether it's the division or the Wild Card.

My team will make the playoffs and upper management is doing everything it can to win it all: when you think about it, that's not such a bad thing.

Denise: I think running is in your best interest, at least for today!

Stacy said...

Sorry the boys are slumping. Keep the faith; it ain't over.

Great jokes, Tex. Just remember, there's lots of former Okies on here, too, so be kind. :)

Ted D said...

Stacy, I'm pretty sure she will keep blasting the Okies: she's from Texas if you didn't know. ;)

scott h said...

This should just about end this joke thing.

When LBJ died and went to heaven (that's how you know this is a joke) he refused to go through the pearly gates until the boss came out and answered a question.... The boss comes out. LBJ says: "I want to know one thing, and I want to know it right now. Why wasn't Jesus Christ born a Texan? The world would have been a much better place if Jesus Christ had been a Texan. God said (try this with a yiddish accent): "Lyndon, Lyndon, Lyndon. What can I tell you? Texas was our first choice. But we couldn't find three wise men or a virgin!"

Mattie said...


Ted D said...


You just got POWNED.

LOL Bub!!!

scott h said...

Well look here I have heckle and jeckle on at the same time!

Ted D said...

Probably just heckle: jeckle is having Mule Days invade his town.

He has horses in the vacant lot next door.

I kid you not.


scott h said...

IS he getting ready to start making his own clothes from hemp next??

Ted D said...

He may already be there: his next big announcement is that he is moving the brood into some hippie commune where they'll all farm the vegatable garden together and sing Peter, Paul, and Mary songs 'round the campfire.

KAYLEE said...

//Well look here I have heckle and jeckle on at the same time!//

what the heck does jeckle mean?????

Christine E. said...

Evening Everyone...

Hope all is well, and everyone is enjoying this off day-one good thing about it..The Sox can't lose if they dont play...

They had better sweep tampa bay this weekend, and the Yankees has betwte start losing...

Thanks for your concern Ted, I appeaciate it..

And If I get to the Tobin Bridge 1st, I'll save you a spote, K?

Go Sox!

Ted D said...

Deal Christine!

I'm like you: I usually hate off days like the plague, but today has been nice: it's good to take a break every now and then.

Watched Kitchen Nightmares earlier, and I'm now watching Prison Break online.

I love the internets.